I had thought that the stress was over. Well as mom alsways said, the work is never done. I have just been hit by the packing stress syndrome. You know, the totally undecidedness of what to throw and what to keep, the feeling of distress when something old that you don't really need but holds some sentimental value needs to go, that nagging feeling that says, "What if I need it later" though you don't need it now and would probably not use it until it is broken down and then you have to get a new one anyway?

Yes, stress hasn't gone away. It's more concentrated now that I am packing to finally go home. I thought that it was going to be a relaxing time after my defence. No... I was mistaken. ♠

I have finally passed the final hurdle. What's left now is to make sure that my things are packed and ready for shipping to sunny Singapore. Oh yes, there's this thing regarding getting my results. I guess I would have to find out how long that would take. Keep watching this blog to find out what happens next.

It's getting to be a little more anxious here as I await the final judgement of my work. Frankly, I have no idea what is expected of me. I will write a summary of my work in Italian and present it during the defence but I am not sure if that is what I'm supposed to do. I'm too scared to ask. I will just hope that that is enough and nothing bad will occur.

I just hate having to study and hate having to do it in Rome. No one seems to understand. They seem to tell me that it's okay because they have done it before. Maybe they don't have that negative feeling that I have. Maybe they like it here and only miss home. I don't like it here not because of the Italians, I mean the normal Italians. I mean those who are sitting with their butts in their offices up in you know where trying to make decisions for the rest of the world. Do they understand the world they live in? They only care for their own way of thinking. It's the kind of thinking that have run off so many of their own people. They hide behind the doctrines and say that God has a plan and they are doing God's work. Well, I believe that God will make bad things into good but they shouldn't just assume that God will make good things from bad they can do what they want. Did they ever think that they are doing the bad things that God would have to do good from? Self-righteous people are like that. I hope that in my old age, I will learn to keep my mouth shut and let God lead, not lead, thinking that God is behind me. I think that I should let God be in front.

Has Christianity become a long list of do's and don'ts. To many people, that's what Christianity has become. Why don't these people ask what Christ would want done? They depend on their high philosophy and theology to say their stuff and expect us at the grassroots to carry them out, without considering the kind of suffering and pharisaic legalism that they are imposing. Sigh! Such is RC today. I am part of it and I know I can't leave it. I made a promise to God and I have to keep it. I am probably going to suffer a lot for what I have just written. Sigh! This is afterall my personal opinion. I am not teaching it and I don't think anyone would actually read this ...

Finally! All dates are set. I just need to see if I can finish everything within the timeframe I have set myself. At the same time, I'd been asked to prepare my lessons that I'll teach. It seems that I'll never get time to relax and chill. I'll have to get back to the books almost immediately!

Well, at least this part of my life is coming to a close. It hasn't been a wonderful ride but a ride nonetheless.

Wow! I realised that this has been quite a while since I logged in. I have been patiently waiting by the telephone for the university to call me regarding my dates. However, I think I might have to make a first step instead. I am still debating with myself regarding whether to go to the university to see if they have a date or not.

That's all for today folks.

Latest news.

I had handed up my tessina on the last Thursday of January. It was only the past Friday that the secreteriat called me to tell me that I didn't exist in the university because I hadn't paid any fees. You know, I didn't know about that part and it took them more than a week to discover this fact? One of my encouters with the university bureaucracy and this was one of the worst. When I paid the fee for handing in my tessina (275euros), they accepted the payment as if I was one of the university students. They told me no problem. When I went back to pay the fees, it took less than a minute for the person at the counter to look into the computer to tell me that I hadn't paid my fees. Then I was told to get signatures from the dean, etc. I wasn't even attending courses! Sigh!

What's worse was that I had waited at the telephone for the whole of the week afraid that they might have missed me. They didn't call. In fact I had wasted my whole week being afraid. Now I have to start this waiting by the telephone again. Such is the life. Don't think that I am having a holiday in the eternal city. The city is eternal because we have an eternity to wait, especially with the services. It is faster to wait for services in a less developed city in Africa, I am told. (Not meaning to degrade the African continent but Italy is supposed to be one of the most developed countries in the world)

So my date for going home is set back once again. I am now wondering if the Lord wants me to finish this and what is his reason for my being so stressed out here!

I just saw my email and found out that I have a new nephew!! I am speechless!!