Family and Relations

I received news that my aunt had died on Monday morning. In Teochew, she was my Tua Kim (or 大妗), the wife of my mother’s eldest brother (in modern Chinese, she would be called jiù mǔ (or 舅母). She looked very well when the family visited her at Chinese New Year. Oh well, the fragilty of life.

In Singapore, we usually meet old friends and distant relatives, those we have not met for years, at funeral wakes or wedding banquets. Strange, isn't it? We meet don’t meet many people outside the occasion when a couple is starting a new life or when a person’s life reaches its end. Two different poles. The beginning versus the end, a happy occasion versus a sorrowful one.

I never remember the importance of family relations until I come to one of these occasions. Usually, it would be my mother (and my late father when he was alive) who would tell me who a particular stranger was. Sometimes I can make out the face and know that it is someone familiar but I cannot remember who it is. Yesterday, my mother pointed out several members of my extended family whom I had met many many years ago as a teenager. I was talking to my cousin’s daughter who commented that it was easier in English because we only had to call a man uncle and a woman aunt. Relations are so complicated in English. Our experience of small families now have done away with the need to identify specific relatives. Yet at my middle age, I find myself wondering if the present generation has missed something precious. With families where there are usually two children, we don’t have too many to remember. If there were only two brothers, children from both siblings would have only one uncle on their father’s side. There would be no need to remember different terms to differentiate between uncles because there was only one uncle on the father&rquo;s side. He would either be 伯 (bó) or 叔 (shū). If the siblings were two sisters, then their children would only need to remember 姨 (yí) for aunts on their mother’s side. If the siblings were brother and sister, the uncle would be 舅 (jiù) and aunt would be 姑 (gū). Of course children have father and mother and there would be uncles and aunts on the other parent’s side as well. Relations become simpler but does life become a little impoverished?

As Christians, no matter which generation we belong to, we have only one Father. The relationship between Christians is that of brother and sister. There are no aunts or uncles to speak of. Perhaps, that is why the Western and European traditions did not really go into specifics with terminology describing family relationships beyond brother, sister, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, and cousin. East and South Asian languages usually have rank, paternal and maternal elements of the relationship specified within the terms used in identifying relations. I don’t think that God would want us Asians to lose that element of our tradition and culture. I believe that understanding human familial relationships would help us appreciate the relationship we have with our heavenly Father even more.

A Father's Love

Someone sent me a link to this video. I think it is a touching video. I am quoting the words from the email that was sent to me.

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'

The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together.

Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes' to.

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

Here’s the video

A Simple Reflection?

The brothers have gone for their retreat and the seminary is quiet. In many respects, it has become a retreat environment for the formators as well. In one of the quiet moments of prayer, several things popped into my mind for a visit. These became elements of a simple reflection. Unfortunately, the expression of what resulted from that reflection was not simple.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church is a useful volume with the teachings of the Church found therein. Yet, there are many things that are not found in there, for example, the classification of angels. Jewish angelology developed rapidly during the Persian and Greek periods. In the apocryphal book of Enoch, seven classes of angels were identified. (see Ludwig Blau and Kaufmann Kohler, “Angelology”, JewishEncyclopedia.com. Link: JewishEncyclopedia.com). It was in the Middle Ages that Christian theologians began to develop the idea of the hierarchy of the celestial powers. Pseudo-Dionysius spoke of nine choirs. (see Dionysius the Areopagite, “The Celestial Hierarchy”, Esoterica II (2000), pp. 148-202. Link: Esoterica Website) St. Thomas Aquinas also speaks at length about the hierarchy (see Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica I, q.108. Link: Sacred-texts.com)

Yet, these classes are not described in the Catechism. What Catholics need to know is that angels exist and that they are spiritual beings created by God. Scriptures tell us that there are archangels. Seraphim and cherubim are mentioned in the scriptures, as are principalities and Dominations. However, the Scriptures do not place them in this level or that level in the celestial hierarchy. Thus, what Dionysius and Aquinas were doing were giving us their theological opinions. Whilst they may not be heretical, these opinions are not obligatory teachings of the Church.

Let me quote the First Vatican Council:

This one true God, by his goodness and almighty power, not with the intention of increasing his happiness, nor indeed of obtaining happiness, but in order to manifest his perfection by the good things which he bestows on what he creates, by an absolutely free plan, together from the beginning of time brought into being from nothing the twofold created order, that is the spiritual and the bodily, the angelic and the earthly, and thereafter the human which is, in a way, common to both since it is composed of spirit and body.
(Vatican Council I, Dogmatic Constitution Dei Filius on the Catholic Faith, 24 April 1840, Chapter I. Emphasis mine. Link: Intratext)

The Council quoted the Fourth Lateran Council. Catholics are required to believe in angels as spiritual beings created by God. Those who know the opinions of Thomas Aquinas are more knowledgeable but are not necessarily better Catholics than those who do not.

Why this lengthy rant? A young man recently asked me about angels. A friend from a different parish had told him about the nine choirs of angels and proceeded to tell him the details. It ended with a comparison between the faith levels of the two parishes. I know that trivia like the celestial hierarchy is extremely interesting to certain young people. However, I feel that that should not become the standard to judge faith levels. Does it mean that one who knows the learned opinions of a Saint is a more sophisticated Catholic?

I am awfully afraid of priests who are not able to let go of comparisons. Sometimes, I make comparisons. I make comparisons to encourage rather than to condemn. Hopefully, those who hears me making comparisons do not end up judging others. Comparison of parishes based on the liturgy or the priest's preaching style may end up being more divisive than unifying. Saying that one parish is different from another is not the same thing as saying one is better than the other. The first acknowledges differences without actually setting one parish apart from another. Saying that one is better than the other usually implies that we have set one parish apart from the other.

We are one church. We are all parishes in one diocese. We may be different but we belong together. Preference should not lead us to rejection. Perhaps we like the ambience provided by one Church because we feel more prayerful there. However, we should not reject praying in another Church, which has an ambience we don't like. Perhaps we like the kind of hymns that Parish A uses but not that of Parish B. Except for the case of grave liturgical abuse, we should not reject Parish B.

Priests in the same diocese should all be in communion. Yet, because we are sinners, our communion is far from perfect. There are priests who work on the basis of efficiency so much so that communion suffers. There are those who emphasize authority and power to the detriment of communion. Some priests think only of co-operation and that is not communion. What is communion then, if not co-operation, nor enforced by power and authority, nor effected by efficiency? Communion is that union Jesus had with his father. It is effected by love and obedience. It is a mystery and grace given by God. It can only be established and maintained by submission to God and not through the efforts of human beings.

Belimbing

This is a strange fruit. It is extremely sour but is a great addition to chilli dishes. The title link should lead you to the Wikipedia page that describes this fruit. Its scientific name is Averrhoa bilimbi. I had always called it buah bling bling but when I googled it, I found something else instead. The fruit is usually referred to as belimbing or blimbling. The seminary has a medium sized tree at one of the back entrances of the kitchen. The picture shows the fruit from this particular tree.

It was only recently that I was told that the fruit is related to the Starfruit. Then, as I looked at the leaves and the way the tree branches, I saw the resemblance. This happens with people to. We seldom link people together in a family unless they are really alike in appearance or manner. Most of the time, we don't see a familial connection until someone mentions it.

As Catholics, we belong to one family. In fact, at Easter this year, many parishes celebrated baptism of adults. It is the celebration of the “birth” of members of our Catholic family. Usually, people tend to look for the “eyes of the father”, or the “smile of the mother” in the newborn baby. If not the eyes or smile, then the chin or forehead, etc. Usually we find them. We will say things like, “He looks like his father; he has his ears” or we say “She looks like her mother; see the way she pouts!” When we look at newly baptised adults, we usually see how zealous they are. They may not have Catholic ‘habits’ yet but we can see that they are eager to immerse themselves into the faith. Isn't that much like young children who are ever willing to learn about their environment and surroundings?

I was baptised when I was fourteen. You could say that I was like a premature baby. I remember how I plunged into Catholic activity through the encouragement of Fr. Louis Loiseau, MEP, who had instructed and baptised my whole family. I was an organist in Church and a junior Legion of Mary member.

What I fear is that I am not showing my resemblance to Jesus my brother. This is especially important for a priest. Of course, I could wear the clerical collar or the cassock to show my identity. However, if no one can really recognise me as a member of Christ's family, no external clothing would magically tell others that I am. The clerical collar should remind me of who I am and allow that awareness to stay with me. I think the clerical dress should serve to be a sign for me, than for others. Obviously, the cassock will immediately be a sign for others that I am a priest. It should be, for me, a sign that I am to serve others. It should never be a sign to parade the authority that comes with being a priest.

Like the belimbing which enhances spicy dishes, I become more effective when I am part of a community. On its own, the belimbing is very sour and difficult to consume. A priest who emphasises his authority, setting himself apart from the community, puts himself in a very difficult situation.

I pray that the Lord will give me the grace to be a priest that supports and enhances the work and mission of all Catholics. I pray that I will depend less and less on my given authority to move my brothers and sisters but will depend more and more on God and Christ, the source of love and grace. Amen

New Birth

I have been spending much of today with a pain on my right heel. I must have taken something forbidden and my gout acted up. So I have been dividing my time between getting my room cleaned and redoing my website. I have just obtained iWeb 2.0 and was trying to redo my whole website. Just a small peek below on what the new site will look like. That's a shot from iWeb 2.0.




I am quite tired out because even with the little walking that I am doing, I am still putting in quite bit of effort to move. Right now I am also trying to keep up with the podcasts that I had not listened to during Holy Week. I plan to blog more regularly right now and will try to get involved in the seminarians' blog (Life in Kampung Punggol) as well. Now its time for me to get to sleep. I need more time to walk to the chapel tomorrow morning. Rev. Fr. Robert Hau will be celebrating Mass tomorrow.

Back in the seminary and bogged down with preparing lectures. Is that anyway to start a new job? Sigh! Sometimes other people might say that I was having a good time and that they would have to deal with all the work. I guess that the grass is always greener on the other side.

It's been a while and I have been quite busy. Making sure that the lessons are prepared have left me little time to journal my thoughts on the weblog. However, I am trying to schedule my time so that I don't get to overdo things. Someone said, "First things first." It is good advice. I'm jotting this down to say that I am still alive and that I'll be back once things are settled.