Back in the seminary and bogged down with preparing lectures. Is that anyway to start a new job? Sigh! Sometimes other people might say that I was having a good time and that they would have to deal with all the work. I guess that the grass is always greener on the other side.

It's been a while and I have been quite busy. Making sure that the lessons are prepared have left me little time to journal my thoughts on the weblog. However, I am trying to schedule my time so that I don't get to overdo things. Someone said, "First things first." It is good advice. I'm jotting this down to say that I am still alive and that I'll be back once things are settled.

I woke up feeling a little moody today. Perhaps the weather is responsible for this moodiness. Yesterday, the Malaysian and Singaporean Catholics in Rome had their meeting. It was raining early in the morning. We had rather strong winds a few days ago and I had closed the external windows in the hope that the draft into the room would be weaker. The external windows are like the old wooden windows with louvres we had in Singapore in the 1950s and 1960s. I find it very stuffy when all the windows are completely shut. So, I usually open the external windows but leave a little gap open in my internal double-paned glass windows. The special way in which my window can be opened helps. (I can’t go into all the details right now on how it works. You’ve to see it to understand it). I had hoped the wind wouldn’t be too drafty with the shutters closed, considering that there are still gaps in the windows. Anyway, with the external windows closed, I didn’t notice anything throughout the night. I woke up and opened the external windows when I noticed that the wind wasn’t so strong. I saw an interesting sight. We had frozen rain — hail. It was’'t the kind of hail with large hail stones, more like tiny bits of ice coming down. It melted a few seconds after reaching the ground. The sky seemed to be clearing. By the time I got out of the house to go to the gathering, it was sunny. The sun helps a lot to raise spirits, I realise. Just before the gathering officially started, we had hail again. This time the ice was in bigger pieces but they weren’t the devastating kind that we read about in the newspapers. The day went quite well.

We had a special guest: the Malaysian Ambassador to Italy. She was a nice lady and was very gracious. We also had a good selection of local food – bakut-teh, mutton curry, stir-fried vegetables and the like. I couldn’t cook in quantities larger than for two people where I presently reside and so spared my friends from the not-so Hainanese chicken rice that I cooked for one gathering. Be prepared to see a bloated Kenson Koh when he returns to Singapore!

As I mentioned before, the weather had something to do with my moods. I had woken up to dark threatening skies this morning. At ten this morning, the sun emerged after a mixture of hail and rain. This has lightened my mood. I hope it lasts.

My room is a mess. I have yet to completely pack because I still have about six days before departure. How I miss home! I will be going to the university to see if I can get a copy of my marks. The certificate is too expensive and I don’t have enough money with me to pay for the certificate. I will just have to settle for the transcript of my results. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for this.

This week is going to be filled with lunches and dinners. Strange, even in Rome, saying good bye is by having lunch and dinners, just like in Singapore. Well, these aren’t Italians inviting me. I was hoping get a little trim before I go back. Guess I will be returning home in the same state as i left. I was hoping that I would be able to reach the 72kg state that I was when I returned for my father’s funeral … but I am now hefty at 80kg. I don’t like the way I look. :-(

Sigh!

I had thought that the stress was over. Well as mom alsways said, the work is never done. I have just been hit by the packing stress syndrome. You know, the totally undecidedness of what to throw and what to keep, the feeling of distress when something old that you don't really need but holds some sentimental value needs to go, that nagging feeling that says, "What if I need it later" though you don't need it now and would probably not use it until it is broken down and then you have to get a new one anyway?

Yes, stress hasn't gone away. It's more concentrated now that I am packing to finally go home. I thought that it was going to be a relaxing time after my defence. No... I was mistaken. ♠

I have finally passed the final hurdle. What's left now is to make sure that my things are packed and ready for shipping to sunny Singapore. Oh yes, there's this thing regarding getting my results. I guess I would have to find out how long that would take. Keep watching this blog to find out what happens next.

It's getting to be a little more anxious here as I await the final judgement of my work. Frankly, I have no idea what is expected of me. I will write a summary of my work in Italian and present it during the defence but I am not sure if that is what I'm supposed to do. I'm too scared to ask. I will just hope that that is enough and nothing bad will occur.

I just hate having to study and hate having to do it in Rome. No one seems to understand. They seem to tell me that it's okay because they have done it before. Maybe they don't have that negative feeling that I have. Maybe they like it here and only miss home. I don't like it here not because of the Italians, I mean the normal Italians. I mean those who are sitting with their butts in their offices up in you know where trying to make decisions for the rest of the world. Do they understand the world they live in? They only care for their own way of thinking. It's the kind of thinking that have run off so many of their own people. They hide behind the doctrines and say that God has a plan and they are doing God's work. Well, I believe that God will make bad things into good but they shouldn't just assume that God will make good things from bad they can do what they want. Did they ever think that they are doing the bad things that God would have to do good from? Self-righteous people are like that. I hope that in my old age, I will learn to keep my mouth shut and let God lead, not lead, thinking that God is behind me. I think that I should let God be in front.

Has Christianity become a long list of do's and don'ts. To many people, that's what Christianity has become. Why don't these people ask what Christ would want done? They depend on their high philosophy and theology to say their stuff and expect us at the grassroots to carry them out, without considering the kind of suffering and pharisaic legalism that they are imposing. Sigh! Such is RC today. I am part of it and I know I can't leave it. I made a promise to God and I have to keep it. I am probably going to suffer a lot for what I have just written. Sigh! This is afterall my personal opinion. I am not teaching it and I don't think anyone would actually read this ...

Finally! All dates are set. I just need to see if I can finish everything within the timeframe I have set myself. At the same time, I'd been asked to prepare my lessons that I'll teach. It seems that I'll never get time to relax and chill. I'll have to get back to the books almost immediately!

Well, at least this part of my life is coming to a close. It hasn't been a wonderful ride but a ride nonetheless.

Wow! I realised that this has been quite a while since I logged in. I have been patiently waiting by the telephone for the university to call me regarding my dates. However, I think I might have to make a first step instead. I am still debating with myself regarding whether to go to the university to see if they have a date or not.

That's all for today folks.

Latest news.

I had handed up my tessina on the last Thursday of January. It was only the past Friday that the secreteriat called me to tell me that I didn't exist in the university because I hadn't paid any fees. You know, I didn't know about that part and it took them more than a week to discover this fact? One of my encouters with the university bureaucracy and this was one of the worst. When I paid the fee for handing in my tessina (275euros), they accepted the payment as if I was one of the university students. They told me no problem. When I went back to pay the fees, it took less than a minute for the person at the counter to look into the computer to tell me that I hadn't paid my fees. Then I was told to get signatures from the dean, etc. I wasn't even attending courses! Sigh!

What's worse was that I had waited at the telephone for the whole of the week afraid that they might have missed me. They didn't call. In fact I had wasted my whole week being afraid. Now I have to start this waiting by the telephone again. Such is the life. Don't think that I am having a holiday in the eternal city. The city is eternal because we have an eternity to wait, especially with the services. It is faster to wait for services in a less developed city in Africa, I am told. (Not meaning to degrade the African continent but Italy is supposed to be one of the most developed countries in the world)

So my date for going home is set back once again. I am now wondering if the Lord wants me to finish this and what is his reason for my being so stressed out here!

I just saw my email and found out that I have a new nephew!! I am speechless!!

I have finally handed in my work to the secretariat. They will now begin their work of co-ordinating the date for my defence.

Hallelujah! (or Alleuia, whichever you prefer).

There were so many mistakes in my draft and the computer problems that I have had didn't help me much. However, the dice is cast and I am now waiting. Someone told me to go around Italy. You know what? My budget is limited. Italy is expensive. The rest of Europe, more so! So I'll just keep to my room and work out the notes for my work waiting for me back home. If anyone tells you I'm on holiday, **?!**%$ him. I'm not allowed to swear so the thingy back there was not a swear word ... what were you thinking?! :D

Ha! Just as I was so relaxed, another thing pops up. I have already lost my Word for Mac programme to a grave mistake I made. Then, I discovered that I could just print the pages that needed to be corrected using AppleWorks. Now I discover that my work is riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes. How could I have been so blind?! They say that one should never correct your own work. I agree. However, owing to the frentic pace in which I want to finish, I cannot impose my needs on my friends who are now in the midst of exams. What about the priests I live with now? Well, I can't impose on them because they have lots of work to do as well. I don't know them that well to impose.

So now, after printing out all the final copies ... I have to reprint and these would be post-final copies? I guess the previous lot were not final after all. Sigh!

What a day! Or rather, what a night!

Let me explain. I was on my way to have dinner with a friend who was in the same situation as me in Rome, only longer. The bus service changed their terminal to a temporary bus-stop about 150 metres from the first bus-stop after the original terminal. (Confusing? The bus services usually make minor changes in routes without much advance notice, here.) I didn't know of course, and there were no notices on the bus stop where I was waiting. I saw the bus turn out and then stop at the temporary stop. Realizing that this was one of the impromptu changes that the bus service does sometimes, I ran to the bus stop, thinking that it was going to leave pretty soon. When I reached the bus, it didn't open its front door, which was usually the boarding entrance (there's another entrance at the back and the centre door is for alighting). Someone shouted, "Qui!" (meaning "Here!") and I saw that the central door was open. I hadn't taken my first step when I just fell to the ground. I buffered myself with my left knee and my right elbow. I thanked the people who helped me to get up. I said I was okay, and they commented that I just had a bout of bad luck. Actually I wasn't feeling unlucky. I felt humiliated. Whatever dignity I had as a forty year old fell together with me and was left on the floor. I felt just a little sore because the temperature was close to zero during the time. I got on, sat down and rubbed my knee. The bus didn't leave until five minutes later. I rushed and fell for nothing!

After the meal, I felt a little more sore as I got up from the table. It was when I got back that I felt this dull pain on my right shoulder. Evidently hitting my elbow on the cobblestone ground did something to my right shoulder. Sleeping on my left side was difficult because my left knee hurt. I had thought I had a bruise, but I didn't. This scares me a little and I hope it would not be something serious. Sleeping on my right side was even more difficult. My right shoulder had to bear the body weight! I rubbed some cream on my hurting shoulder and knee and got to bed. With a little bit of adjustment, I slept on my left side.

It wasn't until this morning that I really felt the stiffness and the pain. It is not a sharp pain, but a dull one when I move my right arm. Managed to get up, celebrate community mass, breakfast and to the university for my moderator's signature for my work. Two more left to go. I'll get theirs when they come to the university for exams tomorrow and on Thursday.

Pain. I am getting old. Many staying with me are in their seventies and eighties. They say I am young. I don't feel that way. I feel absolutely old. The pain reminds me that I'm no longer the youth that I was. I am old. I shouldn't let flattery get the better of me.

From the time and date below, you'd know that I never made it to the walk under the snowfall. The snow changed to rain just as I was about to get my coat and move out to the open. When I realized the change, I decided that walking in the rain isn't my idea of fun. Sometimes I have to do it in Singapore. So what's the big deal. Furthermore, it was going to be wet and cold. So, that's all I had for my experience of snow in Rome.

It's just twenty past noon as I write this. The sun has been shining since it came up this morning and there were just clear skies. A good day. Just not as exciting, to a tropical dweller, as the day before. Got to just wait out the weekend. Most of the others (those from Singapore studying here) are having exams and meeting them would only cause a loss of study time. So, I am alone. Lonely? A little, but I do interact with the kind people I live with at the moment. I shouldn't be ungrateful. They are a good lot with kind hearts.

I went to collect the copies of my work for submission from the photocopy shop and lo and behold, I was walking in snowfall. Asking some Italians around, I found out that it was the first time since the eighties that they snowfall like this! Unfortunately, the flakes melted once it reached the ground. Unfortunately for me, because I would like to experience snow in its entirety but fortunately for the Romans because the city is not really ready for snowed-in conditions.

The time is 12:45 in the day now. It has been snowing for about half an hour. God must have blessed me for allowing me to experience this. Thank Him!

If the snowing continues, I will take a walk under snowing conditions at about half past three. I hope it would be a pleasant walk. I'll try to post again after my walk.

My work has been approved for handing in! I spent the whole of last night (Chinese New Year Eve, in case any of you are interested) and the early part of this morning to finish all the rough edges and corrections of my work. I went to bed after 3 am and got up in time for mass at 7:15. As it is, I'm sluggish right now. Let's just home this last leg of my stay in Rome is going to be memorable in a good way. I managed to get everything to the photocopy shop. They would be printing the four copies that I need to hand in together with the form that the three professors who are guiding me have to sign to say that they have accepted my work.


Then it is waiting for the date for defending the work. That would be another stressful time for me, except that it would be less stressful than the months past.

Now that I am a little freer, I find that everyone else is having exams ... Talk about timing!

Today is Chinese New Year in Chinese. It is hardly spring here. It is still cold and I hear that in the US, it is even colder. Well, not expecting to stay here for the rest of winter, I didn't prepare myself well. Fortunately, I have been able to cope because I don't go out much.

Chinese New Year, nine of us Singaporeans gathered at a Chinese restaurant for a small celebration. I was very glad that I was not the only man there (6 women and 3 men). I had a nice time though the students among us had to leave for studying their exams ...

I'll stay cool for the next few days and hope that I would be rested enough to begin preparations for going home. That is another headache!

Finally! The professors have accepted my work in general. After my last bit of corrections, I should be able to get the final copy out and submit it. Thing is time. The university secretary's office doesn't work the whole day like that in Singapore. Then there is the bureaucracy that really takes time. So, it will take some time yet before I can buy that ticket to return to Singapore. However, the path is clearer now and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My computer is shot. I had made a mistake when I used Drive 10 to correct some errors with my HD. It took away my Mac OS X 10.1.5. My installation disks are at home. Fortunately, the OS 9 is still functioning. I must make sure that I don't get that erased as well. First time I sms'ed my brother with a cell phone that I have absolutely no idea what it's number is. Strange right? My bro lent me his extra so that if he needed to, he could contact me. I was so frustrated that I pressed a few buttons and then before I knew it I had a short phrase. I continued and the message appeared. Then fiddling with the controls. I managed to send a message to him. I hope it doesn't cost much. Anyway, he replied and I took almost forever to reply him.

After all that, he suggested that he courier the installation disks to me. I thanked him. I wish I could say profusely because that was what I was feeling but I couldn't do that with sms. I only hope that the disks would reach me quickly. The last time a parcel was sent to me. It stayed two weeks at airport customs!

I am frustrated because I don't want to lose time. I made a copy of the backup of my tessina and then used a different word processor to open it (Claris works 5 ... Appleworks 6 does something strange with the justification when it prints. don't know why). Its a tedious and labourious process but I don't want to find out later that my Word was also affected by the accidental erasure.

Life must go on because la vità è bella. (which means - Life is Beautiful. Title of an Italian film)

Hiya!

This is Kenson from Rome.
I just discovered that this is a better way to update you than the previous methods through my homepage.

Anyway. Stay in tune for latest posts, okay?

My email is at my homepage - homepage.mac.com/kenson/