Volleyball

I had some thought as I was watching the seminarians playing volleyball — the only game that the whole community can play together. It brings back memories of my difficulty with community games when I was a seminarian myself. I have never been very athletic. The only thing I was able to do at length was to swim. Even then, I would leisurely swim laps for three quarters of an hour. Team sports like soccer, basketball and hockey were distant dreams for me as hand-eye-leg co-ordination did not seem natural to me. I remember a soccer game in school where a classmate reminded me to keep to the opposite side of where uthe ball was.

Back to the seminary. Volleyball was and continues to be the community game of choice in the seminary. I would try my best and some brothers would cheer me on to keep me motivated. Some brothers keep to the principle of "playing to win" and express their displeasure at my clumsiness. There was one brother who was, like me, not able to play well and expressed the opinion that community games was not really important for priestly formation. After all, priests did not need to excel in sports to be a pastor. He kept coming for community games because he knew that the father formators placed some weight in community games. Except for him, those of us who were terrible in games tried our best and even tried to have individual training on days when we were allowed to have personal activities. We were quite serious in trying to help our team mates to win at volleyball. Nevertheless, whether we were serious about community games or not, we were ordained.

Looking at the seminarians now, I wonder whether the same thoughts are held by the seminarians of today. Community activities are important, even games. When I think of why I even trained, I realised the seriousness of fun. Ironic is it not? I wished that the community would have more fun during community games and so I took training seriously. You could say that I seriously wanted the community to have fun. Thus I worked at what seemed insignificant. Eventually, the 'not-so-fun' training sessions helped me to enjoy the game and because I could contribute a little to the game, I enjoyed the sweetness of the win and the agony of defeat with my brothers in the community. The importance of community games is the sharing of the self when one gets involved in the game. The more we are involved, the more we contribute to community. I believe that community was really important to me because I had involved myself.

The Church is community. Priests can be proficient, efficient and even perfect leaders. However, if they cannot understand community, they cannot be good pastors. Leaders ensure problems are solved and things fo smoothly in the community. Pastors are more concerned with the spiritual welfare of the flock than the efficiency of processes and tasks. I often like to express it this way. What is the use of a pastor who ensures the perfect running of a parish like a well-oiled machine but there is no heart. Better to have a parish with issues and imperfections, and caring parishioners working together to resolve them. This is, of course, my humble opinion.

Name Dropping

Warning:  The portion below is a rant.

There was a small ceremony of consecrating a virgin in the seminary today.  Coadjutor Archbishop William Goh presided over it in a small prayer room.  The lay staff in the seminary was not informed of this ceremony as it was supposed to be a quiet one.  There was a party of a few invited guests to that ceremony.  One of them was a lady in her late 60s.  She entered the seminary and asked where the chapel was.  The staff who met her replied that the was no booking of the chapel for anyone and asked if she had mistaken the venue.  The lady replied that the staff member "did not know anything" and that she was invited personally by Archbishop Goh.  The lay staff replied that the chapel was not open to the public and that a group of sisters doing a retreat was having a Eucharistic celebration at the moment and that the lady, whom she had addressed as 'sister', was mistaken as she would have been informed if something was to occur in the seminary chapel.  The lady replied that the staff "did not know anything" and just walked away in a huff.  Of course the lay staff in question was very put off by her attitude and was was very annoyed.  In a loud voice she proclaimed, "What kind of Catholics do we have here?"  Indeed, I felt her annoyance and empathise with her.  Even if she was a close intimate friend of the Archbishop, she should, as a good Catholic, understand that the staff was just doing her job. Dropping names, especially the way it was done, was just odious and rude.  I know that the Archbishop would not say anything about the offence because he tries his best to be amiable to all.  What makes me mad is that I cannot do anything either because I was not present.   How I wish I could teach this lady some manners?!!

NOTE:  I make a reflection on my feelings below.

Although there were occasions that I had expressed my displeasure over things, I had tried my best to be polite.  There were several times, I recall, that I was less than ideal, raising my voice and literally admonishing people.  After the emotions passed, I would sometimes regret my actions.  The question I would ask myself is, "Would a pastor with the heart of Jesus do things this way?"  I know that I would start thinking, "He/She should have done it this/that way ..." or "I would have done it this/that way ..."  By accusing someone of being rude and trying to correct him/her, was I not just like that person, not trying to understand why that person acted the way he/she did?  By accusing someone of being arrogant and rude, was I not being arrogant and rude myself?  When I say I hate people who practise name dropping, am I not the same when I expect to be treated differently when I am in my cassock?  Both cases are expressing one's self-importance to others.  It would seem that I should now add this act of hypocrisy to my list for the sacrament of reconciliation.

Christmas 2012

Someone mentioned to me, “How quickly Advent went by.” Yes. Advent is over and we are now at Christmas. We had arrived at what we were preparing for: celebrating the birth of God made man. Christmas this year was a quiet one for me. I spent time with family. I believe that the drama of Christmas (the shepherds, angels, the manger birth and that there was no room in the inn did occur) I also believe that it was also a quiet occasion. I mean that there was praise and wonder but there was no party atmosphere. I'd like to think that the singing of the heavenly hosts was ethereal rather than boisterous and overwhelming. I did not offer my services to any parish for Midnight Mass this year. I spent a quiet evening observing family interactions and thanking God in my heart. I'd like to think that I was like the shepherds whom we read in the Gospel of St. Luke: pondering the mystery of the Christ–child in my heart.

Dead Tired ... And Digging my own grave?

The new semester has started but instead of being fresh and raring to go, I am feeling extremely fatigued.

The reason is that I had had a short trip to Manila last week. When we landed, we were greeted by the periphery of a typhoon (which I believe to have become the terrific storm that hit Hong Kong). Although not very serious, it was rather significant to me, one who has not experienced a typhoon before.

I must confess that I left before completing spring cleaning and I reached home to a situation where there was much that still needed to be done. Needless to say, I have not recovered from my trip and the cleaning and packing tasks that I had given myself are facing increasing delays unless I buck up and start getting more rest and become more disciplined.

On to the main reflection. I saw so much potential in the Philippines when I visited Manila. Yet there are so many poor people. It is not that the economy is bad. From my observations, the culture is only Catholic and Christian in the cultic and ritual aspect. It would take an extremely courageous Christian to evangelise their culture. That individual would be called by God to be like Abraham: to abandon the familiar but problematic way of life that both rich and poor Filippinos are used to (see Gen 12:1); to take the risk to lose his own life but to gain the Kingdom for God (Mk 8:35-36). Would that individual would use up his riches to give the dignity of proper work to his less fortunate brothers and sisters? Could he make a break from unjust nepotism? Could he distance himself from irrational adherence to clannish and tribal ties? As a Catholic, would this person look at the people in his country as brothers and sisters, involving himself in God's righteousness rather than imperfect human justice?

Of course, we Singaporeans are far from perfect ourselves. Whenever someone asks for material help, I wonder if I have given the right thing. Could the Church in Singapore help by providing meaningful work rather than handouts? Would the Church in Singapore take the risk to do what was right in the eyes of God? It is definite easier to give in to popular opinions and call it justice. It is certainly easier to give an interpretation to the Word of God that everyone likes and attract lots of parishioners. However, we risk losing parishioners if we preach and live the truth (see Jn 6:60-66). I can see injustice about me, and, sometimes, in the Church but feel helpless because I am not sure if an immediate intervention would make the matter better or worse. It becomes more heart-wrenching when there is an abuse of authority and I cannot do anything about it.   I myself have authority given to me from above. I can only pray that I am exercising this authority rightly in the eyes of God. I also pray that God may provide me the courage, wisdom and discernment to act in God's righteousness.

A New Year Reflection

     “Mary, Mother of God”—Now that's a title that Christians had officially given Mary, mother of Jesus, in the 5th century as a result of the Council of Ephesus which dealt with the Nestorian heresy. More than a millennium later, years after the Western Schism that was called the Protestant Reformation, some Christians accuse the Catholic Church of deifying Mary, a mere creature of God.

     The Catholic Church dedicates the last day of the Christmas Octave to Mary with the title of “Mother of God” not because we have deified her but because we want to glorify God, who has graced her with the role of being the mother to His Son.  The title actually protects the integrity of the personality of Jesus the Christ. The Council of Ephesus affirmed that Jesus is only one person with two Natures.   A woman gives birth to a person, not to a nature.   Nestorius had claimed that Mary was "Mother of Christ" and not "Mother of God".  This, in effect, splits Jesus into two persons.  Jesus does not have a split personality.  Thus Mary cannot be said to be only mother of Jesus the Man and not Jesus, the second person of the Holy Trinity.

     I have started a reflection on today's feast and have digressed to give a brief account of one of the Christological doctrines.  (I think Mr. Tim Staples does a better explanation than me here.)  Let me get back to the reflection.

     We celebrate this feast because we want to glorify God for showing us His willingness to fill His creatures with grace. Although we hear that Mary is highly favoured in the Gospel, God does not have favorites. (Please see Luke 1:28.  Being highly favoured and being a favorite are two different things.)  He wants all of us to be saved. That is why he announced the birth of Jesus to the shepherds and the shepherds, in their turn, told others.  In the Gospel today, we notice that people came to know about this significant birth.  Mary, who has been given a significant mention by the angels, did not become arrogant or proud. Instead, she quietly kept all that had happened in her heart, pondering over them (Luke 2:19).

     I believe that God wants us to look at the gifts and graces He has given us.  We must be grateful for them and humbly accept them. The good news is that He is ever willing to grace us. Every gift we have had is not something that we deserved.  Rather, they have been given us because God loves us unconditionally.

Can we not, like the shepherds that night, start the habit to tell others about the generosity of God that we have experienced? 

Who Do You Say I Am?

This week’s Gospel is from the sixteenth chapter of the Gospel of St. Matthew. It is the well-known part in which makes his confession that Jesus is the Son of God.

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesare'a Philip'pi, he asked his disciples, “Who do men say that the Son of man is?”

And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, others say Eli'jah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”

Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

Then he strictly charged the disciples to tell no one that he was the Christ.

It is from these passages that Catholics believe that the ministry of the Pope came about. There are many homilies that would focus on the question, “Who do you say I am?” The congregation would be asked to reflect on what their answer would be if Jesus posed the question to them. I believe that my homily this weekend would go along the same lines. However, in my preparation, I discover another insight. Before we answer Jesus' question, we would need to answer another question, “Who does Jesus say I am?”

To the answer, “A child of God,” I ask myself if I had really lived with a childlike trust towards God.

To the answer, “a Catholic priest,” I ask myself if I had truly helped God’s people eople to connect to Him.

To the answer, “A Christian,” I ask myself if I have allowed myself to see Christ in others and others to see Christ in me.

Just a short reflection ...

Persecuted and Persecutor

Picture from Wikimedia. The work of art by Fra Angelico is in the Public Domain. This JPEG picture is a reproduction that is part of a collection of reproductions compiled by The Yorck Project. The compilation copyright is held by Zenodot Verlagsgesellschaft mbH and licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you.
(Mt 5:10-12)

Many will only consider the first part (v. 10) as the Eighth Beatitude. In reality, without the following two verses (vv. 11-12), the Beatitude is incomplete. This is because the latter part describes what Jesus means by righteousness’ sake. In an earlier post, I described righteousness as God’s righteousness. The righteousness of God is personified in the person of Jesus. Thus, if we are persecuted because of Jesus, we are blessed.

There are many who are persecuted simply because they were Christians. Such was the plight of the martyrs of the early Church. Nero needed a scapegoat for the fires that raged Rome during his reign and he chose the Christians. During the Neronian persecutions, Christians were killed indiscriminately, not taking into account whether the individual Christians were really guilty of the fire or not.

Christians are still persecuted in different ways in different parts of the world. However, there are also many Christians who do not act like Christians. They retaliate by committing acts of violence against those who persecute them, acting contrary to what Jesus taught:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Mt 43-44)

In some cases, it is quite understandable, no matter how un-Christian it is, how retaliation occurs. When the persecution takes away the life of a loved one, there is grief. Grief can lead to rage and the need to retaliate overwhelms the mandate to forgive and love. That is why in an earlier Beatitude, Jesus talks about mourning (v. 4). Grief should lead to mourning instead of rage. Christian leadership is important in every community. Without Christian leadership, communities who claim to be Christian might forget the values that Christ taught and end up becoming counter-witnesses. Often the fear of disappearing into oblivion prompts communities to retaliate. Yet Jesus taught:

For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Mt. 16:25)

The teachings of Christ are not easy to follow if we do not submit to the grace of God. Thus, we should not judge individuals too harshly for failing. Judgement should be reserved to the Lord.

There are usually many people who complain that they are being persecuted for doing what is right. What these people should realise is that by complaining, they are retaliating in some way. Of course, when one is frustrated, one needs to vent. However, when the complaints leads to putting down of the ‘persecutor’, is it not like retaliation? Thus, it is important for us who are frustrated, to choose wisely the people to whom we talk to. If they are usually the same people, there will be no misunderstanding with regards to our ranting.

More importantly, we need to realise that we might be the persecutors instead of the persecuted. Often we vent our frustrations by making life difficult for the people around us. For example, if we are dissatisfied with how our superiors treat us, we might take out our frustrations on those who work with us. Our disapproval of mistakes might be disproportionate to the mistakes made.

More reprehensible would be when we impose our standards on others. Sometimes we put ourselves on a moral high ground, claiming to be good Christians and then proceed to bring down those who do not fit our standards. We fail to see that we are more like the Pharisees and scribes at the time of Jesus than Christian!

I believe that this Beatitude encourages us to humble ourselves and not retaliate. This beatitude encourages us to allow ourselves to be “walked all over” by others for the sake of Christ. We are not asked to be cowards. Rather, we are called to consider the value of Christ’s attitude at His Passion as a lamb led to the slaughter. It is not an easy attitude to adopt but we need to if we truly want to be “Blessed”.

Creating an Environment of Shalom

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Mt 5:9)










Picture from Wikimedia. It is in the Public Domain.

When I was in primary school … and that was a long time ago … I remember singing this campfire song:

Shalom my friend!
Shalom my friend!
Shalom … Shalom …
May Peace be with you,
May Peace be with you,
Shalom!
Shalom!
  (Of course, the lines in the middle may be sung “God’s Peace be with you …”)

I was taught at that young age by a Christian teacher that the word shalom meant peace. After I was baptised (I was in my early teens), I remembered a Youth Mission where there was a talk about Peace. I am sure that the idea of shalom was explained there but I have no recollection of it. My memories of that Youth Mission centred around the personalities of Rev. Fr. Brian Doro, C.Ss.R., and the late Rev. Fr. P.J. O'Neil, C.Ss.R. Anyway, it was only during lectures on Sacred Scripture in the seminary that I discovered the rich meaning of the Hebrew word, Shalom.

Shalom means wholeness. When someone greeted another, “Shalom!”, it meant that the greeter hoped that the Lord would grant the one greeted the totality of being. In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the Hebrew word shalom was often translated into the Greek soteria, which meant salvation. It makes sense, doesn’t it. God created perfect human beings in the beginning. Sin introduced imperfections, causing human beings to be less that whole. Salvation would be the restoration of that perfect state, being a wholly perfect human being again. The Greek word for peace eirene, means tranquility and harmonious relationship. Eirene is qualitatively less than shalom. Although Jesus probably used Aramaic rather than Greek, there is little doubt that he had the idea of shalom when he presented the beatitudes.

So when Jesus talks about peacemakers, he is speaking of those who make shalom a part of their lives. In our present world of conflicts, we hear of peace-keepers. These are military troops or civilians who maintain conditions that prevent conflict and hostility. The peace that is kept is not even that which is described by eirene. The idea of peace nowadays refers to “the absence of conflict”. Christian peace refers to the state of being whole, being complete, a completeness that only God can give:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. (Jn 14:27)

So when Jesus talks about being a peacemaker, I think it refers to those people who promote situations where people are able to become whole by the grace of God.

When there is conflict, whether large or small, the Christian response would be reconciliation. Reconciliation is not merely making compromises. It is the active provision of an environment of shalom that would pervade all parties. Suing for peace, no longer means wanting what is good for my party, but wanting the totality of good for all. This means that if I was the aggrieved party, I do not demand justice on my part, but the totality of good for all. To compromise would mean “give and take” on the part of all parties. There would be some things that would be obtained and others that would have to be sacrificed. Peacemaking has no giving up but rather receiving totally from God.

In the pastoral ministry, priests are called to provide environments where their flock can grow at being whole as a human being. Creating environments where shalom can be a reality is the challenge for priests of today. We are so specialized nowadays that we tend to forget that other aspects of being human also exist.

Purity of Heart

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Mt 5:8)










Picture from Wikimedia. It is in the Public Domain.


There are several ways we can understand the word “pure”. In the realm of religion, the meaning takes on a moral slant. Purity in thought and deed usually involve the sixth or ninth commandment. We hear the importance of purity in the moral decay of the age.

However, I’d like to look at a more generic meaning of the word “pure”. Like the image above, purity can mean how perfect something is. The image is that of halite, what is commonly known as rock salt. In chemistry, the way a substance crystallizes reveals how pure that substance is. That crystal of sodium chloride in the picture is pure sodium chloride. Yet we can see specks of soil in the crystal. Somehow, the salt crystallized around those particles of soil. Whilst the crystal part is pure sodium chloride, the specks tell us that the crystal, taken as a whole, is not pure. Those specks are impurities. Most pure salt crystals allow light to pass through. You could say that they are transparent. We also gauge how pure something is by judging how clear it is. This is especially true for water. When someone mentions pure water, we think of clear clean water, with no cloudiness or particles, even though the water may have something dissolved in it.

When we consider a more generic meaning to what “pure in heart” means, we can use this idea of clarity. Someone who is “pure in heart” is someone whose heart is clear. Just as we can see clearly through pure water, we can see into the inner being of someone who is “pure in heart”. From the viewpoint of the person who is “pure in heart”, he/she can see things clearly. He/She can see everything as it truly is. If he/she can see Truth clearly, he/she sees God.

So what about the usual meaning for purity? Pope John Paul II uses Genesis 1 and 2 to refer to hearts that are not tainted and so the “pure of heart” refers to the original innocence found in humanity. (see the text of his Audience on 30 January 1980) I believe that if one’s heart is pure and clear, he/she can see the true purpose of his/her body in God’s plan. Gender expression or sexuality is, according to John Paul II and Genesis 1-2, dependent on God’s plan when he created humanity.

In my priestly ministry, I see a lot of moral ambiguity in the world today. The young are bombarded with many conflicting messages. The fashion changes quickly so that a profit can be returned more quickly as well. Hedonism has taken a new face and it is affecting people at a younger age. This means that the situations and problems that used to affect 16 year olds are now affecting 13 or 14 year olds. Adolescent angst seems to hit young people earlier, and girls and boys are engaging in sexual activity earlier than before. Whilst it was rare to hear of a 14 year old girl engaging in sexual activity twenty years ago, now more 13 year old girls are engaging in sexual activity. The world today does nothing but cloud the hearts of people of all ages. Hearts are are getting clouded earlier in a person’s life and God becomes harder to see as a result. This is the challenge of the pastoral ministry in the 21st century.

Forgiveness and Mercy

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. (Mt 5:7)




Picture from Wikimedia. It is in the Public Domain.


At first glance, this beatitude seems to follow the ethic of reciprocity (see “Ethic of reciprocity” in Wikipedia), but I think Jesus suggests more than that. I think this is clearer when we rephrase the beatitude thus:

God blesses those who are merciful to others for God will show them mercy.

The blessing is not that people would return the mercy shown them but that God notices those who have been merciful.

What is mercy?

There is an article in the online Catholic Encyclopedia on “Mercy”. For those of us who are more adventurous, the same site offers St. Thomas Aquinas’ treatment on the same subject in the Summa Theologica. I say adventurous because St. Thomas needs some getting used to, especially if we are not familiar with Aristotle and Mediaeval Philosophy. (Please refer to my next short post to read further on what I think is important when reading the Summa Theologica.)

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, “Mercy as it is here contemplated is said to be a virtue influencing one’s will to have compassion for, and, if possible, to alleviate another’s misfortune.” If I were to put it in simpler terms, mercy is a habit (virtue) that has two functions:

1. stirs one to have compassion for another person’s misfortune


2. motivates one to try to help remove the other person’s misfortune

St. Thomas Aquinas and those teaching at his time would teach that when a merciful person discerns misfortune or misery in another, the motivation resulting from mercy is in some sense involuntary. Also, mercy must also be linked to charity as it is something the controls relations between two distinct persons.

One result of a merciful heart is the willingness to forgive. For many people forgiveness is like a switch that can be turned on or off. For these people, they will soon realise, especially when they are gravely hurt, that forgiveness cannot be simply switched on or off. Their first misunderstanding is that forgiveness is a feeling. A similar misunderstanding is that love is a feeling. Of course, there are feelings involved in forgiveness and love. However, they are not primarily feelings. Forgiveness, like love, is a decision, what philosophers would call, “an act of the will.” Mothers will definitely be able to identify with this idea. When a child has wilfully done something wrong, a mother may feel very indignant and angry but it doesn’t mean that the mother has stopped loving the child.

A merciful person is motivated to forgive; he wants to forgive because he is aware of God’s love for both himself and the one who hurt him. However, it is very difficult to reconcile the feeling of hurt and anger with that decision to forgive. It is difficult. It is also imperative for our immortal souls to forgive despite our feeling. Now to forgive is not to forget the hurt. Neither is it to forget that anything happened between the two people. Thus, the saying “forgive and forget” can be dangerously misleading. To forgive means to choose to treat a person as if he/she has not hurt me even though I know he/she has. To forgive doesn’t mean I forget and set myself up to be hurt again. To forgive doesn’t mean that I allow that person to hurt me again. On the contrary, to forgive means to give a person a second chance so that he/she would be able to do the right thing and not hurt again. It means that if that person is about to repeat the same thing, I must charitably warn that person of the consequences of his/her actions. I could go on and on about this but I choose not to be too long.

All the above is very easily said, but not easily done. There is one ingredient missing: God. We are emotional beings and we would cease to be human if we weren’t. To be merciful means we need to depend on God. The habit of choosing to forgive and love can only come about if we allow God to heal all the hurts deriving from the offence. Most people find that their emotions go on a roller coaster the moment they try to forgive. To confront a hurt before healing begins is diastrous. One feels hypocritical: I say I forgive when there is this emotion in me that pushes me to hit back!

Healing. That is the missing link between being hurt and forgiving. When someone offends us, we are hurt. Our spiritual being is hurt. Like a physical wound, we need to tend to it and allow it to heal. God provides the healing but we must take care not to cause more damage to the wound. If we dwell on the incident, it is like someone taking out the bandages of a treated wound just to touch and see that it is healing. We know that in any physical wound, constant removal of the dressing and probing would not only not speed up healing, it may even cause the wound to turn septic and cause even more pain. When we dwell on a painful memory, this is what we are doing. We probe and dig further into the hurt, causing more pain. When we begin a healing process by inviting the Lord into our beings, we should leave the ‘bandages and dressing’ well alone. We will feel the hurt, just like in the case of a physical wound. When some time has passed, we may be tempted to return to the hurt, much like a healing wound would itch. We have to let go of the hurt and put it aside, allowing the Lord to do His healing. One of the problems with “forgive and forget” concerns healing as well. If we forget that there is a bandage over a physical wound, we may end up carelessly hurting our wound or ruining the dressing. Similarly, if we totally shut off the incident from our mind, a more devastating emotional upheaval may be triggered by an trival matter.

One of the most common experiences is that the hurtful incident just comes in without one’s willing it. Actually, our memories are not random. We don't just remember things. Memory is associative. We are reminded of something in the past due to something we see or hear or even another memory. One of the best ways to handle a recurrence of a hurtful memory is to immediately turn our thoughts to “what was I thinking of before remembering?” As we consciously trace the memory to its source, we actually leave the hurtful memory in the background. We are aware that it is there but we are focusing on something else, much like when we try to ignore a healing wound that itches. Another benefit can be gained from this exercise: we begin to see what the triggers of the hurtful memories are. For example, if a couple of siblings quarreled over a case of wine, the train of though might be:

Case of wine which was triggered by grapes which was triggered by raisins which were triggered by fruitcake which was triggered by cherries which was triggered by the brand of chocolate called Mon Cherié.

See how something totally unrelated could have ended up reminding us of a hurtful incident. So if we are aware of those things that are often leading us back to the hurtful memories, we might be able to shift our thoughts the moment these ‘risky’ thoughts entered our minds.

How do I know that I am healed? When I can truly laugh off the hurtful incident even if I feel a tinge of discomfort, it would be safe to consider the healing 99% complete.

I know that I will inadvertently hurt people in my speech and decisions. There are times when I will hurt people in my own frustrations. This is something that would happen because I am still a sinner. This is something that I tell myself every time I am hurt. The virtue or habit of mercy needs to be nurtured with time. When I need to make the decision to forgive, I go through the steps above to get healed and consciously make the decision to forgive and love. Ultimately, I know that co-operating with God in this way will help me become the merciful person he has called me to be.

Fair or not Fair?

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. (Mt 5:6)


Picture from Wikimedia. It is in the Public Domain.


When we think of someone who is righteousness, we think that he/she would be just and fair. In ancient times, Justice was depicted as a Goddess who had a sword in one hand and a set of scales in the other. The scales would determine if something was just and fair and the sword will be used effectively to ensure that the scales would be balanced.

Just what do we mean by ‘being balanced’ when speaking about something being just and fair?

Do we place the situation we place on one side of the scales and the consequence on the other? Is the charge on one side and the sentence on the other? Or would the accusation on one side and the evidence collected on the other?

When we were children, we usually decided fairness quantitatively. For example, everyone had the same size when sharing a cake, or we all had the same number of sweets. Things became complicated once there was a qualitative element. For someone who liked yellow coloured sweets, how many blue coloured sweets would be equivalent to one yellow coloured sweet? From the time we were able to distinguish quantitative and qualitative matters, we discovered a horrifying truth: There are many things in the world that aren’t fair!

This truth can lead us down many paths in life. We could try to make the world a fairer place to live in — we search out and champion the cause of right. On the other hand we could make use of the truth to our advantage. We could to take advantage of those who are not wise as us in the worldly sense. We could do worse and live with a pessimistic attitude, always being suspicious and lamenting the unfair world that we live in. For those of us who are Christian, we would look to the Beatitude as an ideal in life but could live in shades of the other paths as well.

We often forget the Christian understanding of righteousness when we talk about justice. We tend to confuse God’s righteousness with the human standards of what is right and just. I have heard Christians quoting bible passages and then preach a message that said that God hated sinners! Let us read the Scriptures carefully. God hated the sin but not the sinners! When sinners are ‘punished’ for their sin, it is not with the primary end of destroying the sinner. It was with the intention of purifying the community. This was done with great ferocity in the Old Testament. The story of Achan in the Book of Joshua comes to mind (see Joshua 7). In the New Testament, this same ferocity is seen on an individual level:

If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Mt 5:29-30)

However, Jesus had already taught that this teaching must take into consideration that Christian righteousness is not the same as human righteousness:

For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:18-20)

To “exceed” here does not merely mean “more severe” or “stricter”. It means to “go beyond”. We have to reach a higher or deeper level than what the Pharisees and the scribes taught. We usually paint the Pharisees and the scribes as the villains as opposed to Christ the hero in the Gospel stories, but the truth is that the Pharisees and the scribes were learned men whose faults lay in their inability to go beyond what was solely on the human level.

So, what does “hunger and thirst for righteousness” here mean? I believe it is summed up in the last few passages of Matthew chapter 5:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Mt 5:43-48)

We must seek out God’s righteousness and justice as described by Christ. God is perfectly just and merciful at the same time. He can be so because He is Love. A warped sense of justice comes from a hunger and thirst for righteousness motivated by love of justice. We need to hunger and thirst for a fairness that is motivated by the love for people. God’s love is for people afterall.

As a priest, I find this not an easy endeavour on my own. Like everything else Christian, this instruction from the Lord demands my submission to his grace. It is all too easy to admonish someone who has not followed a liturgical rule or some dictate of the Church’s administrative directives. It is so easy to feel superior to someone who had committed a mortal sin during confession. It is not so easy to help the person to keep to the right path being aware that I am also as weak as the one who had transgressed. I cannot be like the Pharisees and scribes, enforcing law and order. I have to be like Christ, uncompromising on the sin, merciful to the transgressor and directing him/her to the path that leads to eternal life. This is exactly what God’s righteousness demands of me as a priest.

Gentle and Meek

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Mt 5:5)

Picture by Louise Docker, taken on March 03, 2007 at 16:04, in Sydney, Australia. I found it at Wikimedia under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License.

The verse above is from the Revised Standard Version, The Jerusalem Bible uses the word “gentle” instead of “meek”. The Oxford Dictionary describes “meek” as “Not proud or self-willed; piously humble; patient and unresentful under injury or reproach; …”

As we prepare for the birth of Christ, we can see these qualities in Christ himself. As described two days ago, Christ “emptied himself” (Phil 2:7). Jesus was born in a humble place: a manger. Although he was blunt with His assessment of the Pharisees and scribes, He remained patient and unresentful despite their treatment of Him at His Passion. His meekness or gentleness is not one of passive timidity or weakness. It is an active kenosis. It is the denial of the self and submission to the will of the Father. It is thus that someone meek and gentle is blessed by God.

Many Catholics in Singapore are very respectful of priests. Sinful priests that we are, we are tempted to take advantage of this reverence that the faithful have. Some of us take on an arrogant stance and look down upon those under our care. The longer a priest we are the more arrogant we become. We seem to think that we know better than the laity. Some of us may even take this attitude with priests who are junior to us! How ‘un-meek&rsquo we are!

In a modern world of specialization, Catholic priests are definitely supposed to be ‘expert’ in the knowledge of the faith. Some of us are even more specialized — we were sent to study a particular branch of theology or philosophy. Yet it is the common experience of everyone that as we study more and more, we discover the vastness of knowledge and realise how little we really do know. Before I was a priest, I studied Biology in the university. There were professors who knew plenty about birds but acknowledged their lack of knowledge for fungi, for example. The proper ‘meek and gentle’ attitude priests should have is to acknowledge that they have a limited knowledge and to read up what they do not know. The ‘un-meek&rsquo way would be to pretend we know and end up giving wrong information and direction. I have had to apologize and retract my words several times just because I have not been meek and gentle. More ‘un-meek&rsquo are we when do not even admit the possibility that we could have made a mistake.

When we say “gentle”, we usually have the idea of handling something gingerly and carefully. I believe that the meek would be given the earth as an inheritance from God because only the humble and patient would be careful enough to look after the earth. If we look at those who have little care for the earth and ecology, i.e. those in the ‘un-green’ camp of things, they are definitely not meek or gentle. Avarice within industry leads to irresponsibility and that leads to a disregard for the health of the planet. Only those who have Christ-like meekness will be good stewards of the earth.

Choosing and Mourning

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (Mt 5:4)

Picture by James Foster, taken in 1986, found in Wikimedia under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.5 License.

Choosing is so much a part of our lives that we sometimes do it without thinking. Yet we are affected by our choices without realising it. In some cases, we may resent another because we think we are affected by his/her choices. In reality, to be affected by another’s choice is a result of our own choice as well. This is one of the ideas found in William Glasser’s Choice Theory and the counseling process called Reality Therapy. (see Choice Theory and Reality Therapy in Wikipedia.)

The following is based on my own reflections and is not meant as an academic or technical paper. I have used lists to simplify my thoughts.

Let us begin with some basic definitions regarding choices:

• A choice is an option that we choose from a multiplicity of options.


• Each option may have multiple elements.


• There may be similar elements among options.
  Thus, Option A and Option B may be different merely in the addition of a single element.
  → Option A + element x = Option B

For the dynamics involved in choice, we can determine several simple rules:

1. When we choose one option, we reject all other options.


2. Choosing to remain the same means we reject the options for change.


3. Choosing to change means we reject the option to remain the same.


4. There does not exist, within this world, a situation where there is only one single option.

Numbers 2 and 3 are there because we have a tendency to overlook the obvious. Number 4 is not obvious but I think I can illustrate it thus:

Consider a man who is forced to smuggle drugs by a gang who threatens to kill his son. One may think that he has no choice. However, he does. He can choose not to smuggle drugs and accept the death of his son, even though that might not be the natural choice of a loving father. It may sound cruel, but he has options. Perhaps only one option results in the survival of his son but he definitely has more than one option to choose from.

Every option chosen results in the rejection of other options. Sometimes these rejected options are significant to the person who had to make a choice. Let us continue to look at the man who had to choose between smuggling drugs and the life of his son. If he chose the life of his son, he has to mourn the loss of his innocence. He has committed a crime. He has to bear the consequence of his own actions. If he had chosen to preserve his own integrity, he might have had to mourn the loss of his son. Depending on different ways of looking at things, one might consider his options as the option for one life (his son’s) and the many lives that would be affected by the drugs he had smuggled. The morality of his actions are not so clearly defined; it is not a black or white situation. As to whether these are the only two options open to him, we can speculate indefinitely.

Let us return to the beatitude, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Every time we make an option for Christ, we reject all other options that may be open to us. The mourning process involves accepting the loss. To accept, we normally look for a reason for the loss. Normally, if there is no reason for the loss, the mourning is longer and the grief more intense. When an elderly person passes away, we usually find it easier to accept his/her death, even if that person was in the pink of health and was infected by a virus. The same would not occur if the person who died was young. The parents of a toddler who had died of the same viral infection would have to go through a difficult grieving process because they would find it difficult to accept the reason for their child’s death. Often there is a questioning period in the grief, looking for a supernatural reason or a person to blame for the infection. When the parents accept that the death is the natural consequence of being present at the wrong place at the wrong time and getting infected, the process of grieving and mourning will reach its end and the parents will find closure. Only when the hurt begins to abate will the comfort that the beatitude talks of arrive.

In a similar vein, we need to properly mourn the loss of options when we make a decision. If we deny the loss and do not mourn, we will not be “comforted”. If we choose to follow the Lord’s way, we would have to mourn the loss of following the way of the world, which, in our own weakness, seems to have a special attraction to us. We have to mourn the loss of all the morally wrong ways of living if we want to live a moral Christian life.

For example, the world will tell us that we deserve to rest and relax on Sunday because of all the hours of work we put in during the week. Yet, if we choose the good Christian practice of going to Mass on Sundays, we will inevitably have to mourn the loss of extra hours of sleep on Sunday or the special television programmes that happened to be on at the same time as the Masses at the parish. We have to accept the loss and the reason for the loss: our choice to keep the Sunday holy and wholly for the Lord. If we do not begin the process of mourning, we will begin to bitch and moan about going for Mass and going on about worshipping God on our own, questioning the need for community worship. Such is the fate of those who choose and do not mourn.

Poor in Spirit

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:3)

The first of the Beatitudes is that which highlights the basis for all the other seven in St. Matthew’s Gospel (Mt 5:3-12) In fact, God Himself made himself poor in order to save us. The incarnation of Christ can be seen as a impoverishment. Divesting Himself of the accidents (used here in the philosophical sense) of divinity, God became a human being. St. Paul expresses this in his letter to the Philippians:

… though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross.
(Phil 2:6-8)

The Son of God went beyond just emptying Himself of His divinity. In His humanity, He even emptied Himself of human life when as a consequence of obedience to His Father, He was nailed on a cross and died.

The first Beatitude has a very special meaning for a priest celebrating Mass. Whilst I retain my personality when celebrating Mass, I am aware that I become Christ during the celebration. For the sacrifice of the Mass is that one sacrifice of Christ on the Cross, where Christ is both Priest and Victim (see Hebrews 9). When I lift chalice and paten at the Doxology of the Eucharistic Prayer, it is not I who offer Christ the Victim to the Father, it is Christ. If I am full of myself during the celebration, I cannot be truly alter Christus. In spirit, I must be poor, almost like emptying myself so that I can be filled with the person of Christ. Only when I am truly poor in spirit will I be really aware of the great privilege granted to me to celebrate the Eucharist.