Beauty & Beast in WhatsApp

I have had WhatsApp for quite some time now and it has been on limited use. That is because I cannot type as quickly as those who use text everyday. I was not used to the abbreviations that were being used. Even now, I tend to spell every word when I text. I have tried to use “CU” instead of “See You” but I just felt uncomfortable using the abbreviation. Every now and then I would garner enough courage … or would that be gall … to use one of the text abbreviations and then start worrying whether I used it correctly or whether I was understood correctly.

This brings me to my recent experience with WhatsApp. I had switched off the notification alert sound because it was getting on my nerves. It sounded just when I was at a meeting or at Mass. Every time I looked at my handphone, I see a list of messages; even when I had quit the app! As there were usually more messages I disregard than take note of, I had missed some important messages. It was like email with spam all over again. I had moved out of hotmail many years ago because it took me more time to scan the junk mail filter for authentic messages than to answer authentic mail. Now it appears in what I consider a very convenient, reliable, cost-saving and, dare I say it, time-saving app. The beauty of it is that when I am in another country, it is a useful, inexpensive and convenient way of sending messages. The beast is that I might have to rummage through all the messages to see which ones are relevant.

Being instant has its advantages: time is saved. Yet I may end up making a hasty reply that could inconvenient others. just now, my brothers had wanted to celebrate Mothers’ Day with dinner on 4 May. I know that Mothers’ Day always falls on a Sunday. So I just assumed that 4 May was a Sunday. Guess what? It’s a Saturday. I must have upset some plans because of my overly quick reply. Again the beauty of being a time saver but my impulsiveness had changed it into a beast.

I used to think that I would be okay with technology. As I grow older, I realise I get less efficient. Sigh!

Volleyball

I had some thought as I was watching the seminarians playing volleyball — the only game that the whole community can play together. It brings back memories of my difficulty with community games when I was a seminarian myself. I have never been very athletic. The only thing I was able to do at length was to swim. Even then, I would leisurely swim laps for three quarters of an hour. Team sports like soccer, basketball and hockey were distant dreams for me as hand-eye-leg co-ordination did not seem natural to me. I remember a soccer game in school where a classmate reminded me to keep to the opposite side of where uthe ball was.

Back to the seminary. Volleyball was and continues to be the community game of choice in the seminary. I would try my best and some brothers would cheer me on to keep me motivated. Some brothers keep to the principle of "playing to win" and express their displeasure at my clumsiness. There was one brother who was, like me, not able to play well and expressed the opinion that community games was not really important for priestly formation. After all, priests did not need to excel in sports to be a pastor. He kept coming for community games because he knew that the father formators placed some weight in community games. Except for him, those of us who were terrible in games tried our best and even tried to have individual training on days when we were allowed to have personal activities. We were quite serious in trying to help our team mates to win at volleyball. Nevertheless, whether we were serious about community games or not, we were ordained.

Looking at the seminarians now, I wonder whether the same thoughts are held by the seminarians of today. Community activities are important, even games. When I think of why I even trained, I realised the seriousness of fun. Ironic is it not? I wished that the community would have more fun during community games and so I took training seriously. You could say that I seriously wanted the community to have fun. Thus I worked at what seemed insignificant. Eventually, the 'not-so-fun' training sessions helped me to enjoy the game and because I could contribute a little to the game, I enjoyed the sweetness of the win and the agony of defeat with my brothers in the community. The importance of community games is the sharing of the self when one gets involved in the game. The more we are involved, the more we contribute to community. I believe that community was really important to me because I had involved myself.

The Church is community. Priests can be proficient, efficient and even perfect leaders. However, if they cannot understand community, they cannot be good pastors. Leaders ensure problems are solved and things fo smoothly in the community. Pastors are more concerned with the spiritual welfare of the flock than the efficiency of processes and tasks. I often like to express it this way. What is the use of a pastor who ensures the perfect running of a parish like a well-oiled machine but there is no heart. Better to have a parish with issues and imperfections, and caring parishioners working together to resolve them. This is, of course, my humble opinion.

Name Dropping

Warning:  The portion below is a rant.

There was a small ceremony of consecrating a virgin in the seminary today.  Coadjutor Archbishop William Goh presided over it in a small prayer room.  The lay staff in the seminary was not informed of this ceremony as it was supposed to be a quiet one.  There was a party of a few invited guests to that ceremony.  One of them was a lady in her late 60s.  She entered the seminary and asked where the chapel was.  The staff who met her replied that the was no booking of the chapel for anyone and asked if she had mistaken the venue.  The lady replied that the staff member "did not know anything" and that she was invited personally by Archbishop Goh.  The lay staff replied that the chapel was not open to the public and that a group of sisters doing a retreat was having a Eucharistic celebration at the moment and that the lady, whom she had addressed as 'sister', was mistaken as she would have been informed if something was to occur in the seminary chapel.  The lady replied that the staff "did not know anything" and just walked away in a huff.  Of course the lay staff in question was very put off by her attitude and was was very annoyed.  In a loud voice she proclaimed, "What kind of Catholics do we have here?"  Indeed, I felt her annoyance and empathise with her.  Even if she was a close intimate friend of the Archbishop, she should, as a good Catholic, understand that the staff was just doing her job. Dropping names, especially the way it was done, was just odious and rude.  I know that the Archbishop would not say anything about the offence because he tries his best to be amiable to all.  What makes me mad is that I cannot do anything either because I was not present.   How I wish I could teach this lady some manners?!!

NOTE:  I make a reflection on my feelings below.

Although there were occasions that I had expressed my displeasure over things, I had tried my best to be polite.  There were several times, I recall, that I was less than ideal, raising my voice and literally admonishing people.  After the emotions passed, I would sometimes regret my actions.  The question I would ask myself is, "Would a pastor with the heart of Jesus do things this way?"  I know that I would start thinking, "He/She should have done it this/that way ..." or "I would have done it this/that way ..."  By accusing someone of being rude and trying to correct him/her, was I not just like that person, not trying to understand why that person acted the way he/she did?  By accusing someone of being arrogant and rude, was I not being arrogant and rude myself?  When I say I hate people who practise name dropping, am I not the same when I expect to be treated differently when I am in my cassock?  Both cases are expressing one's self-importance to others.  It would seem that I should now add this act of hypocrisy to my list for the sacrament of reconciliation.

Christmas 2012

Someone mentioned to me, “How quickly Advent went by.” Yes. Advent is over and we are now at Christmas. We had arrived at what we were preparing for: celebrating the birth of God made man. Christmas this year was a quiet one for me. I spent time with family. I believe that the drama of Christmas (the shepherds, angels, the manger birth and that there was no room in the inn did occur) I also believe that it was also a quiet occasion. I mean that there was praise and wonder but there was no party atmosphere. I'd like to think that the singing of the heavenly hosts was ethereal rather than boisterous and overwhelming. I did not offer my services to any parish for Midnight Mass this year. I spent a quiet evening observing family interactions and thanking God in my heart. I'd like to think that I was like the shepherds whom we read in the Gospel of St. Luke: pondering the mystery of the Christ–child in my heart.

First Sunday of Advent (Dec 2012)

Watch yourselves,

or your hearts will be coarsened with debauchery

and drunkenness

and the cares of life,

and that day will be sprung on you suddenly,

like a trap.

For it will come down on every living man

on the face of the earth.

Stay awake, praying at all times

for the strength to survive all that is going to happen,

and to stand with confidence before the Son of Man.

Our contemporary culture has influenced us to look at different things with regards to Christmas. Ask any child what Christmas is about and chances are he or she will say, “Presents and Santa Claus.” Only one who has been formed well by good Christian parents will say, “Baby Jesus,” without batting an eyelid. Why so? Christmas has become the perfect opportunity for retailers to retail. They have taken the Christmas message of giving to new heights (or depths, depending on one's perspective). “Christmas is a time for giving,” is rather common to our ears, is it not? There is nothing wrong with the message per se. It is how we use the message. The reason for giving is that God gave us His only begotten Son. The Son of God took flesh, i.e. became a human being, a being less than God, so that we might be saved. The reason for giving is that Christ had come. The focus is Christ, not the season. The focus of Advent should then be the preparation of ourselves to receive Christ. The worldly ideas of buying gifts, preparing menus and decorating the house can distract us. We can end up getting drunk on the wrong ideas and the cares of worldly life so much so that our hearts become coarse. Christmas no longer centres on God's gift to humanity, but our gifts to others.

Advent is a time for preparing our hearts to receive the Infant Jesus. We should try to refrain from pre-empting Christmas like singing carols and having Pre-Christmas parties. I suppose that we would be expected to have the obligatory office Christmas celebrations before Christmas. We can't really fault those who are not Christians, and they form the majority of our society. However, as Catholics, are we on the right path? Are our focus still on Christ? So, how are we, as Catholics, preparing ourselves for Christmas?

Confession:
I had been embarrassed to post this last week as I found myself at the Crazy Christmas show an hour after I had celebrated the last Mass for the morning. I enjoyed the show but felt guilty for not practising what I was preaching. During the week, I was led to Matt 23:3, which says, “so practise and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practise.” Thus, at the risk becoming like the Pharisees, I post this because what I have written was not wrong but for God's glory. Not posting would have been the more selfish thing to do.

Christ the Universal King

One of the hardest things to do as a Christian is to let go. We celebrate the Solemnity of Jesus Christ the Universal King today. To allow Christ to be king means that we will have to let go of our wilfulness and allow Christ to lead. The Lord usually leads us through unfamiliar territory in our journey of faith. Fear of the unknown is disturbing indeed. However we must let go of our own insecurities to trust the Lord. If we don't let go, we won't be able to cling on to the Lord. Christ is our King. We should know that we are secure with Him. Christ is King!! He is who we should depend on. Amen.

Final Year Farewell Function

As I write this, the seminary community is celebrating the Farewell Function of the Final Year students. Each of the Final Years have a pacifier in his mouth so that they would not be able to vocalize their protests as they are being verbally roasted by their junior brothers. Rather than sharing deep dark secrets, the junior brothers share their experiences of encountering their most senior brothers. Their sharings are not only encouraging but also very inspiring. There are stories of appreciation as well as messages of thanks.